& the world turns

at the beat of your <3

homesick

Don't get me wrong. I like being in Berkeley, but it just doesn't feel the same as before. Yes, I do live in an apartment now and, to me, it is still a little creepy but just the atmosphere here is different. Plus I have to deal with school when I really should have just stayed home. I in fact do miss home much more than before. It's probably the time that I spent. Similar to winter break when I also had four weeks off and when I came back to Berkeley I felt homesick. Although oddly, I didn't feel homesick at all during my first semester.

I may still be adjusting, but for now I do kind of prefer the dorms. I just didn't have to worry about so many things that you have to worry about at an apartment. Anyways, I have to study my ass off as this 15-week physics course is shoved into 8 weeks. How dreadful.

Yesterday, I went to Disneyland for my sister's birthday. It was very crowded, more that usual compared to the last two times I was there. And to think we're in an economic crisis; well that didn't stop all the foreign people from taking advantage of that. But beside that fact that we waited forever for rides and even for Dole Whip, I actually had fun for the first time this summer (about the last four weeks). True to it's name, "the happiest place on earth," except for that lady in the wheelchair who was absolutely rude and nearly running me over. And even though I've been to Disneyland twice before in the last year or so, it was my first time in "It's a Small World."

As I rode through watching those little anima-tronics singing, I thought of the meaning behind this ride and what Walt Disney wanted to convey. As large of the earth is and as many people there are, we live in a small world dependent on every people we may or may not know. Together, all six billion plus, act as one consciousness looking to reach for success: a life worth living for. We live in a much smaller world than most people want to believe. Beyond our ethnic background, or our socio-economic background, or our political affiliations, or our opinions and code of ethics, we are all simply human. That is the best thing that we have in common.

Today, I had the fortune of eating dim sum at probably one of the most expensive places in Monterey Park. The food was good but the table next to us: two old couples eating and talking (Cantonese and Mandarin). As soon as we got our food, a huge fiasco started between the employees and the customers about who ordered what. This dim sum restaurant uses paper ordering (like Hong Kong) instead of the usual carts. So they are duking it out about whose fault it was that they had a whole bunch of extra orders. I was already annoyed at the fact they were complaining but what made me mad was that the customers tried to give back the damn food after it was sitting on there table for a good FIFTEEN minutes while we ordered and got our food. Seriously, if you saw that you were getting extra food you think that you could say something when the lady puts it down on your table, not when you decide to pay for the check? And then they had the nerve to bring their "employee friend" over to the table to complain. With this and all the FML stories about people losing their jobs based on "the customer is always right" clause is absolutely senseless (not that anyone was fired today as far as I know).

Anyways, I just don't like the fact that these people could not own up to their mistake. Whether it was truely their fault or not, I believe that they should have said sorry since the employees apologized too. I don't like confrontation; I try to avoid it. But when something goes wrong, I will usually feel an obligation to say sorry whether or not it was ym fault because I could have done something to prevent the wrong-doing. I don't care if you say sorry or not, but don't make it into a fiasco where you make a scene and an idiot of yourself.

POSTBLOG:
Happy Birthday Seester. Love you.

Californication

PREBLOG:

I started this blog intending to take pictures and write something about them. But I will continue doing that when I get a Cannon SLR because I don't like the picture quality of my Sony Cyber-Shot. Anyways, this blog has become a place of some not to good stuff. So in retribution I shall begin to look on the other side where the "grass is greener."

I have completed my first year at the University of California Berkeley. It went by much more quickly than I thought but the memories I made cannot be forgotten. In August, going there absolutely scared me because I am an introvert and making friends is quite hard for me, still is. I wasn't too attached to being at Berkeley since it probably wasn't my first choice. But I made myself believe I could make the best of it. I looked at different things I could join; I even applied for a job at the Daily Cal but later withdrew my application because I didn't think I had the time. After much shopping, nothing came close to draw me in like Circle K did; they were actually much more exciting than everyone else. It came to consume my life, well rather one of the few things that I actually committed myself to. My first and favorite project was Be the Change Day in which we renovated and repainted an elementary school somewhere near Palo Alto. That service project was much more fun than any other that I have been to, and it got me hooked. If you looked at my iCal for October and December, it is completely filled with purple events (for Circle K) and orange events (for class). I spent way too much time there than I should have for that semester but in a way it was a good thing.

I came to make some really close friends, albeit they are girls but nonetheless friends. (And Kenneth) I was happy for those few months having made friends and found my niche in this large school. But then I got my grades for first semester; they were not good at all. I know that sure the first semester is the hardest but those three letters was like a laugh in the face. Following winter break, I focused more on my school work, especially since I was taking four technical courses. I cut almost everything else I was doing. Circle K went from 200 hours in the fall to only 20 hours in spring. And I guess it paid off but I am still asldkfjaklsdjoi over my grades. They still need to be higher for me to be content. Plus I got much closer to the two nieces and nephew that I have up here in the Bay Area. According to their parents, they "love" me.

"I love Uncle Jason! ... Who is Uncle Jason?"

-Caden

Anyways this summer was suppose to my time to chill at home, but because Physics 7B is such a horrible class (and full next semester because the people who took 7A in the fall didn't want to take it in the spring so are taking it now) that I am forced to take it over the summer at Berkeley, which is costing me $1,106! Otherwise I would have taken math and economics at ELAC for about $200. I was hoping for this summer at home to get my life straight again (not that I strayed far from it). Just personal stuff. But I guess I can freak out about physics in the summer now and try to fix my life.

redemption

I was close; very close as a matter of fact. BUT I am not about to let things that should be insignificant ruin my life. YET I cannot help but to hope that we can mend things.

Since I wrote that letter, I have come to realize that it was indeed my fault. I was insecure about myself, which lead me to blame you for letting me be insecure about us. For that I am sorry. And if we cannot mend this broken friendship, I want you to know that you were among the best I have ever had.

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