There was a time when I did care what people thought of me, and frankly, I don't care anymore.
I have thought about this for a very long time. For as long as I can remember, I did act to make people like me. Throughout middle and intermediate school, I tried to associate myself with as many people as I could and like the things that they liked. But none of that mattered because, to them, I was still different. In those times it was hard; I was one of six Asians in my class, and three of us were at the top of the class. We were different because we smart ... and Asian nonetheless. Now that I look back, I remember one thing that clearly stuck in my mind for this long:
"Can I have some? We let you be on our team yesterday."
This was so trivial to me now, but it was everything back then. Even when I was in high school, it was no different. I would try to associate the people who were "popular." I went from one group of friends to another; alienating those who really were trying to be my friends and liked me for who I was rather than who I pretended to be.
After everything that I have gone through, I don't care anymore. I don't care whether you think I am annoying or whether I am rude or just plain juvenile. And for the record, the people who do like to express it in my face or behind my back, I probably think of you the same way you think of me; I am proud to admit that.
