jasonhsiu.tumblr.com

i gots the munchies

- chili cheese fries The Hat

- 1 lb. shrimp "the whole shebang" with corn and sausage Boiling Crab

- spam musubi Shakas

- clam chowder bread bowl

- portobello mushroom ravioli Olive Garden

- avocado bacon cheeseburger

- chicken, pita and hummus Zankou Chicken

- fresh strawberry pie Marie Callendar's

- miso salmon Cheesecake Factory

- cheddar jack Cheez-It

- blueberry muffins

- seasoned fries Doublz

- brick toast Tea Station

mac/canon

"See Jason, this is why people don't like you."

There was a time when I did care what people thought of me, and frankly, I don't care anymore.

I have thought about this for a very long time. For as long as I can remember, I did act to make people like me. Throughout middle and intermediate school, I tried to associate myself with as many people as I could and like the things that they liked. But none of that mattered because, to them, I was still different. In those times it was hard; I was one of six Asians in my class, and three of us were at the top of the class. We were different because we smart ... and Asian nonetheless. Now that I look back, I remember one thing that clearly stuck in my mind for this long:

"Can I have some? We let you be on our team yesterday."

This was so trivial to me now, but it was everything back then. Even when I was in high school, it was no different. I would try to associate the people who were "popular." I went from one group of friends to another; alienating those who really were trying to be my friends and liked me for who I was rather than who I pretended to be.

After everything that I have gone through, I don't care anymore. I don't care whether you think I am annoying or whether I am rude or just plain juvenile. And for the record, the people who do like to express it in my face or behind my back, I probably think of you the same way you think of me; I am proud to admit that.

places to go, places to see

This list includes places I have been but want to go again.

EUROPE
Paris, France
Cannes, France
London, UK
Athens, Greece
Brussels, Belgium
Amsterdam, Netherlands
Madrid, Spain
Barcelona, Spain
Rome, Italy
Naples, Italy
Prague, Czech Republic
Frankfurt, Germany

UNITED STATES
Miami, FL
New York City, NY

Las Vegas, NV
Maui, HI
Grand Canyon, AZ

ASIA
Hong Kong, China
Shanghai, China
Beijing, China
Macau, China
Tokyo, Japan
Osaka, Japan

We are nothing more than CHNOPS.

Why make life more complicated?

& the world turns

at the beat of your <3

homesick

Don't get me wrong. I like being in Berkeley, but it just doesn't feel the same as before. Yes, I do live in an apartment now and, to me, it is still a little creepy but just the atmosphere here is different. Plus I have to deal with school when I really should have just stayed home. I in fact do miss home much more than before. It's probably the time that I spent. Similar to winter break when I also had four weeks off and when I came back to Berkeley I felt homesick. Although oddly, I didn't feel homesick at all during my first semester.

I may still be adjusting, but for now I do kind of prefer the dorms. I just didn't have to worry about so many things that you have to worry about at an apartment. Anyways, I have to study my ass off as this 15-week physics course is shoved into 8 weeks. How dreadful.

Yesterday, I went to Disneyland for my sister's birthday. It was very crowded, more that usual compared to the last two times I was there. And to think we're in an economic crisis; well that didn't stop all the foreign people from taking advantage of that. But beside that fact that we waited forever for rides and even for Dole Whip, I actually had fun for the first time this summer (about the last four weeks). True to it's name, "the happiest place on earth," except for that lady in the wheelchair who was absolutely rude and nearly running me over. And even though I've been to Disneyland twice before in the last year or so, it was my first time in "It's a Small World."

As I rode through watching those little anima-tronics singing, I thought of the meaning behind this ride and what Walt Disney wanted to convey. As large of the earth is and as many people there are, we live in a small world dependent on every people we may or may not know. Together, all six billion plus, act as one consciousness looking to reach for success: a life worth living for. We live in a much smaller world than most people want to believe. Beyond our ethnic background, or our socio-economic background, or our political affiliations, or our opinions and code of ethics, we are all simply human. That is the best thing that we have in common.

Today, I had the fortune of eating dim sum at probably one of the most expensive places in Monterey Park. The food was good but the table next to us: two old couples eating and talking (Cantonese and Mandarin). As soon as we got our food, a huge fiasco started between the employees and the customers about who ordered what. This dim sum restaurant uses paper ordering (like Hong Kong) instead of the usual carts. So they are duking it out about whose fault it was that they had a whole bunch of extra orders. I was already annoyed at the fact they were complaining but what made me mad was that the customers tried to give back the damn food after it was sitting on there table for a good FIFTEEN minutes while we ordered and got our food. Seriously, if you saw that you were getting extra food you think that you could say something when the lady puts it down on your table, not when you decide to pay for the check? And then they had the nerve to bring their "employee friend" over to the table to complain. With this and all the FML stories about people losing their jobs based on "the customer is always right" clause is absolutely senseless (not that anyone was fired today as far as I know).

Anyways, I just don't like the fact that these people could not own up to their mistake. Whether it was truely their fault or not, I believe that they should have said sorry since the employees apologized too. I don't like confrontation; I try to avoid it. But when something goes wrong, I will usually feel an obligation to say sorry whether or not it was ym fault because I could have done something to prevent the wrong-doing. I don't care if you say sorry or not, but don't make it into a fiasco where you make a scene and an idiot of yourself.

POSTBLOG:
Happy Birthday Seester. Love you.

Californication

PREBLOG:

I started this blog intending to take pictures and write something about them. But I will continue doing that when I get a Cannon SLR because I don't like the picture quality of my Sony Cyber-Shot. Anyways, this blog has become a place of some not to good stuff. So in retribution I shall begin to look on the other side where the "grass is greener."

I have completed my first year at the University of California Berkeley. It went by much more quickly than I thought but the memories I made cannot be forgotten. In August, going there absolutely scared me because I am an introvert and making friends is quite hard for me, still is. I wasn't too attached to being at Berkeley since it probably wasn't my first choice. But I made myself believe I could make the best of it. I looked at different things I could join; I even applied for a job at the Daily Cal but later withdrew my application because I didn't think I had the time. After much shopping, nothing came close to draw me in like Circle K did; they were actually much more exciting than everyone else. It came to consume my life, well rather one of the few things that I actually committed myself to. My first and favorite project was Be the Change Day in which we renovated and repainted an elementary school somewhere near Palo Alto. That service project was much more fun than any other that I have been to, and it got me hooked. If you looked at my iCal for October and December, it is completely filled with purple events (for Circle K) and orange events (for class). I spent way too much time there than I should have for that semester but in a way it was a good thing.

I came to make some really close friends, albeit they are girls but nonetheless friends. (And Kenneth) I was happy for those few months having made friends and found my niche in this large school. But then I got my grades for first semester; they were not good at all. I know that sure the first semester is the hardest but those three letters was like a laugh in the face. Following winter break, I focused more on my school work, especially since I was taking four technical courses. I cut almost everything else I was doing. Circle K went from 200 hours in the fall to only 20 hours in spring. And I guess it paid off but I am still asldkfjaklsdjoi over my grades. They still need to be higher for me to be content. Plus I got much closer to the two nieces and nephew that I have up here in the Bay Area. According to their parents, they "love" me.

"I love Uncle Jason! ... Who is Uncle Jason?"

-Caden

Anyways this summer was suppose to my time to chill at home, but because Physics 7B is such a horrible class (and full next semester because the people who took 7A in the fall didn't want to take it in the spring so are taking it now) that I am forced to take it over the summer at Berkeley, which is costing me $1,106! Otherwise I would have taken math and economics at ELAC for about $200. I was hoping for this summer at home to get my life straight again (not that I strayed far from it). Just personal stuff. But I guess I can freak out about physics in the summer now and try to fix my life.

redemption

I was close; very close as a matter of fact. BUT I am not about to let things that should be insignificant ruin my life. YET I cannot help but to hope that we can mend things.

Since I wrote that letter, I have come to realize that it was indeed my fault. I was insecure about myself, which lead me to blame you for letting me be insecure about us. For that I am sorry. And if we cannot mend this broken friendship, I want you to know that you were among the best I have ever had.

POSTBLOG:
Safari 4 Beta > Firefox 3 > Google Chrome > Internet Explorer 8

I wanted to write something here.

But I just gave up.

Gave up on everything actually.

Even myself.

This is your only chance.

I hate this feeling, but I don't have the courage or strength to fix it.

I just want to give up.

It's happening again. And I'm not strong enough to stop it.

I tried to tell myself that this is Berkeley and it's hard. My parents and my sister think so too. But it's never enough to justify my grades. Not matter how much they "understand" my difficulties, it will never be greater than the expectations I have of myself. I am dissapointed. Dissapointed with myself and everything else.

Tonight, the weather is perfect for sitting on green grass and just talk with someone. But there's no one.

Last night, I was surprised that my friend understood part of my personality. And she reminded me of who I really am because up to now, I thought I had changed. But the more I thought about it, I realized that I am still like that. The only difference is that I made myself belive that I had changed. I wish I had but the experiences that I've gone through these past few years don't make that task easier.

I was able to cry for the first time in weeks. Three times.

It felt relieving. I had thought I lost all emotion.

This school thing is ridiculous.

Who said you meant anything to me?

You mean nothing. Period.

Thank you for giving me the reason to finally leave.

Life takes pleasure in my constant failure.

I regret being Asian. There's just too many of them.

I know the spring constant for my mattress. Wanna take some data?

Physics midterm. T-minus: 16 hours, 6 minutes.

Sometimes I try to make myself believe that I don't need you anymore. I come up with theses scenarios that make me want to hate you. And they work. Now I can't believe that I'm finally over you and it makes me so happy that I am, besides the fact that the rest of my life is completely shit. For those brief moments that I realized I was actually over you I WAS HAPPY.

This just make me want to hurt you all the more. Make you feel as if you lost the most important thing in the world. But you don't know. And I won't ever tell you.

I think I'll just cry now.

Thanks.

They say I'm too nice.

I'm fed up with pretending to be nice too.

I think it's time for a personality change.

I think it's time I let you know how I feel for a change.

& everyone else can suck it.

We're all on the verge of insanity.
& I'd rather be alone.
Thanks.

I failed in school.

I failed in relationships.

I failed in taking care of a goldfish.

I failed in comforting myself by crying.

I failed in making myself a better person.

& I failed in the one thing that I actually was dedicated to.

What's left?

Nothing.

All that time. Wasted.

When will life have meaning again?

I though you were different, but you're just like the others.

I give up.

YES

With this new year and new administration, as we all come to believe in "change," I think it is time for the people to be heard. Can you hear me? YES, we can.

I saw this flyer for Cal UNICEF, which is a school organization specifically working with the international children's charity, UNICEF. UNICEF receives donations donations from all around the world, from their annual Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF and the UNICEF Six Cents Initiative. What they do is amazing. The donations are used to provide food, clean water, shelter, school supplies, etc. to children in third world countries, mainly Africa. This flyer was covered with a mass of other flyers from other less "philanthropic" organizations. I saw it, pulled it out, and posted it on the middle of the wall, where people can hear those mean nothing to us, but mean everything to the world.

We are not here alone. We live one this planet with 6,757,841,507 (February 2, 2008 1:19 AM) other people. And their voice is just as important than ours, if not more. Do you remember the last time some homeless person asked you for money, and you just passed them by trying to ignore them? I do. I did it today. But what really does ignoring them solve. Yes, sometimes they can banter nonesense or yell blasphemy in the middle of Sproul Plaza, but they are only human, and we need to recognize that just because they are less fortunate does not mean they should be treated less important than your neighbor.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Everyone has a voice, including you and me. So when that same people banters nonesense or yells blasphemy in the middle of Sproul plaza, let them; they are entitled to it: freedom of speech. Argue with them if you will, but never say that your reason and/or idea (religious or not) is better than the other. That you should never do to anyone. I believe that it is not our right to impose our beliefs on others for the sake of making our lives simpler. You can argue with me, I won't accept your reasoning, frequently. I wish people were more opinionated, or rather myself. We need to be open about our ideas and defend them because our opinions are what make us unique from each other. And our opinions stem from our experiences.

"Speak up America. Speak up!" A line from Legally Blonde 2, which was in fact a well-said speech. Not just America; speak up world. Speak up so the rest of us can hear you. The only way to make this world a better place is only if we can together, in harmony. And to do that, everyone must be heard not matter how small or abnormal. We are all in it together. (Obviously, many allusions to movies) Start a blog and write a blog; tell the world about what you think. And those who are smart enough will listen.

Can you hear me? Yes. Can I hear you? Yes. Yes, we all can.

Revolution

I first saw this picture taken by Wong Fu Productions, and since I have a MacBookPro myself, I decided to take a similar picture. First, let me note that this picture was take a few months ago. I have not taken any pictures this week because I just decided to begin a photo-blog. Second, I will post my weekly photo-blogs between Sundays and Mondays from now on.

This generation has gone through one of the most society-altering revolutions knows to man, maybe except for fire. Although I am practically in love with technology, especially Apple products, I find that this digital revolution has made us absolutely dependent upon everything run by electricity. We are practically need to be connected with the world constantly. People freak out when they get no cellular service or 3G service; others cannot live without texting someone for less than one hour. I find that very pathetic. For the record, I was without internet and cellular service for 13 days during the summer.

No matter how much I long for technology, I sometimes feel much more satified when I do things the "analog" way. For example, I write in a journal that is pen and paper. It is hard to explain, but it feels that much more important than a file in my computer with the title "jounal.doc." I cheerish that little book much more than my $200 chemistry textbook, and to some extent my MacBookPro. And when I see my cousins' children play with their toys, I actually feel pity for them because they did not ge to experience the "life:" when we got those refrigerator boxes, cut out windows, and played house. Crayons and finger painting on paper. Bicicyles. Foot-powered toy cars. Now they have Wii and computers and iPods and PSPs and NickJr.com. What happened to our world?

Does this technology make life more simple or too complicated? Yes, to some extent it does make life much simple, but will we come to a point where technology eliminates the need to evolve as a species? I hope all of you have seen Wall-E. It is by far one of the best Pixar/Disney animations. And even though it is fiction, I cannot but help to believe that someday, our society will be like that: while we sit in chairs, robots, technology, and programs will run our lives. We need to get out, away from the HD 1080p, and run outside. We need that society when neighbors actually know each other and father and son go outside to toss the ball.

I wrote an essay on the effect of technology and the internet on the world today for my College Writing Requirement test. I can honestly say it was a ... compelling argument (because I passed). There was a young boy who appeared on Oprah a couple of years ago. He obtained a webcam that he began to use in his room and naively began talking to strangers. From this point, he discovered that he got money and gift from older men for just taking his clothes off in front of the camera. This later lead to drugs. He began to widthdraw from life, hardly ever coming out of him room, refusing to talk to his mother, and flying to Las Vegas to meet someone he met online. Even with all the parental controls, there will always be atleast one incident of this, somewhere in the world.

And now that we have begun a new year and a new presidency, I hope that we can change, for the better. Technology is our greatest achievment, yet maybe our greatest downfall.

Beginnings

On the first day of my Rhetoric R1B section, we discussed the numerous projects we would be doing. When the class period started and I learned that the course was focused on landscape and not the environment, I decided to drop the course since I, at the time, had 21 units. However, I did find one of the projects for the course interesting: a photo essay. Thus after leaving the class, I decided to start a photo essay/blog in which: every week I would take pictures, pick my favorite picture, write one word that I think represents the picture, and write a blog about what emotions I feel and/or the setting in which the picture was captured.

This is mine: ONE PICTURE. ONE WORD.